If there’s one exact moment that made me want to wear a ring as an accessory, it goes back to 2021. Here’s the story.

I had just landed an internship as an electronics engineer at a small startup in Tebet, South Jakarta. I joined the Hardware R&D division, and we worked in this tiny room, probably around 2×4 meters. The place was always a mess. There was a soldering spot, a 3D printer, a couple of tables for our laptops (which we sometimes had to fight over), and toolboxes scattered everywhere.

One day during lunch, I don’t really remember what I was doing, either eating or soldering. Then I saw this guy sitting at a table across the room. He pulled out his lunch box (which I assume his wife prepared), and with his long hair, he started tying it up.

That’s when I noticed the ring on his finger. I paused for a moment. It was one of the most masculine scenes I’ve ever seen (no homo). He was the Head of Software or something, but honestly, the details about him don’t really matter. What mattered was the feeling of that moment. It just looked like peak masculinity.

I don’t even know what exactly caught my attention. Was it the wedding ring? The homemade lunch? The long hair? Or all three at once? But that simple scene made me realize something: masculinity is not about having big muscles or being six feet tall. It’s about the subtle symbols you carry as a man. Wearing a wedding ring? That signals stability and commitment. Eating from a lunch box made by your wife? That suggests care and a good relationship. Long hair? That’s a kind of masculinity I probably can’t pull off in my lifetime. After that moment, I realized at least one thing was achievable for me. I could wear a ring.

And so I did. I bought my first ring in January 2025, so it’s been about a year now. My friends often ask me, “Why are you wearing a ring? It’s not your style, it’s ridiculous.” And, “Why wear it on your ring finger? Women will think you’re married and won’t hit on you.” The answer to the first question is obvious. I saw what I consider peak masculinity, and that man wore a ring on his ring finger. Of course, not all rings work. Especially rings with stones, it’d certainly give me a daddy’s look. So I went with something simple: no patterns, no stones. Just a plain black titanium ring that cost me 40k IDR. As for the second question, there’s this idea called the “wedding ring effect,” where women supposedly find men more attractive if they wear a wedding ring, because it signals stability and desirability. So yeah, I wear my ring on my left ring finger for that reason. Hell No.

A lot of studies suggest the wedding ring effect isn’t really a thing. But I’m fine either way.If you find me attractive, you probably won’t make a move anyway. If you find me unattractive because I wear a ring on my ring finger, then yeah, don’t even bother talking to me. I wear the ring because I think it’s cool. I think it’s masculine. I don’t care about your opinion or how you treat me because of it. Even my mom and sisters think it’s weird, cringe, and that I have bad taste. But I don’t care. I wear it anyway. And maybe I’ll even add another ring on my index finger.

Even after a year of wearing it, I still feel overly conscious sometimes. I catch myself fidgeting with it. The first time I wore it felt weird and it still feels weird now. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe it’s supposed to feel a little weird. Because every time I notice the ring, it reminds me of that small room in Tebet, of a simple moment that redefined what masculinity meant to me. And in a way, I’m still chasing that version of myself. I imagine one day eating a lunch box prepared by my wife after a long day of work, and maybe there’s some random intern looking at me in awe, thinking he just witnessed peak masculinity. Can I recreate that scene? I don’t know. But I guess I’m trying to.